Today was a good writing day. Between last night and this morning, I re-wrote and refined the first six pages of what I plan on being my writing sample for grad schools. I scouted out the very initial threads of a personal statement, and it is something I think can be good, once it is refined.
I don't know what I can do about a statement on teaching writing, although I think it is just a matter of time until it comes together. These things are coming together. Just need to find a way to nail the GRE, and things will be ready to roll. After that, it's a waiting game.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
The good we try to do
I read a friend's blog tonight, a friend who I love dearly and talk to sparsely. I really wish I were better about things like that, but for whatever reason I am not. Perhaps all it takes is effort, and I know I have effort in me, but my brain does not remember to do what my heart wants.
He is a dear friend, one of the dearest, who I think for a season in life understood me better than anyone else, and probably still understands me better some days than I understand myself, because we are so much the same. There was a trying time in his life a few years back that he talked about, a time in his life where I tried to help him. It was romance, of course, but then the Bible uses romance as an archetype of our relationship with God, so romance is never just romance. It becomes, quite literally, supernatural--bigger than life.
I thought I knew what was best, and I'll be damned if i didn't try my hardest to make sense of his relationship, I knew her and him very well, and maybe it was just selfish of me, to try to help work out a relationship that was out of my fantasy as much as anyone else's.
In the end, they broke up, and are still both broken. In different ways, but there is brokenness there. And there is brokenness with God then, a shattering, a cracking that let in doubt, bitterness, pain, disillusionment--and I wonder, what could I have done to make things better?
I tried, I really did. I tried and I loved and I gave of myself to them and it didn't just fail, it supernova-ed. It exploded and destroyed entire solar systems. The good I tried to do--how much of it is my fault, years later?
He is a dear friend, one of the dearest, who I think for a season in life understood me better than anyone else, and probably still understands me better some days than I understand myself, because we are so much the same. There was a trying time in his life a few years back that he talked about, a time in his life where I tried to help him. It was romance, of course, but then the Bible uses romance as an archetype of our relationship with God, so romance is never just romance. It becomes, quite literally, supernatural--bigger than life.
I thought I knew what was best, and I'll be damned if i didn't try my hardest to make sense of his relationship, I knew her and him very well, and maybe it was just selfish of me, to try to help work out a relationship that was out of my fantasy as much as anyone else's.
In the end, they broke up, and are still both broken. In different ways, but there is brokenness there. And there is brokenness with God then, a shattering, a cracking that let in doubt, bitterness, pain, disillusionment--and I wonder, what could I have done to make things better?
I tried, I really did. I tried and I loved and I gave of myself to them and it didn't just fail, it supernova-ed. It exploded and destroyed entire solar systems. The good I tried to do--how much of it is my fault, years later?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
A lesson in math
A 400 page word would contain approximately 100,000 words. Given a pace of 1000 words a day, hard to stick to as evidenced by my lack of consistency, that would take 100 days, or 14 1/4 weeks. Add in a weekly day off, and that adds another 14 days, or two weeks. That makes it about a 4 month project, assuming consistency, determination, etc, etc, to complete a 400 page work.
Which says nothing of shaping the lumpy manuscript from something worth writing to something worth reading.
Which says nothing of shaping the lumpy manuscript from something worth writing to something worth reading.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Wing Commander, reporting in.
It's early in the morning, and I didn't sleep much last night.
But what I did do is start writing again. I wrote about 5 pages--1500 words--a re-birthed my dedication to the novel. Poor Sammy has been living in stasis (and in the midst of a crisis, I might add) for a month now. But the guy's getting along now. Home to visit dad and bro, then off to discover America, I suppose.
My temptation this morning as I'm sitting here is for a titanium spoon. Yes, a titanium spoon: 16 ounces, extra long handle (good for cooking while camping), durable, etc, etc. Also probably for all the use it'd get, a waste of $7.95. I think metals like that (titanium, tungsten, and so forth) always remind me of Privateer. Perhaps that why I want to buy them: I'm buying a memory, a piece of childhood. I'm buying summers playing video games with the Jordans, who introduced us to the joy of Privateer, Civilization...and later (in a way) Jesus.
Perhaps I'm buying back innocence.
The introduction to Privateer (don't know how to embed video...that would be something good to learn. [And...learned!]
But what I did do is start writing again. I wrote about 5 pages--1500 words--a re-birthed my dedication to the novel. Poor Sammy has been living in stasis (and in the midst of a crisis, I might add) for a month now. But the guy's getting along now. Home to visit dad and bro, then off to discover America, I suppose.
My temptation this morning as I'm sitting here is for a titanium spoon. Yes, a titanium spoon: 16 ounces, extra long handle (good for cooking while camping), durable, etc, etc. Also probably for all the use it'd get, a waste of $7.95. I think metals like that (titanium, tungsten, and so forth) always remind me of Privateer. Perhaps that why I want to buy them: I'm buying a memory, a piece of childhood. I'm buying summers playing video games with the Jordans, who introduced us to the joy of Privateer, Civilization...and later (in a way) Jesus.
Perhaps I'm buying back innocence.
The introduction to Privateer (don't know how to embed video...that would be something good to learn. [And...learned!]
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
And that's a wrap
1000 words and they did not come easy, but I created about 4 pages out of nothing.
Well, not out of nothing, out of 65 pages in Times New Roman size 11 font.
Oops.
So I'm on page 71 now, which gives me a lot more confidence that if I finish Book I by the end of the semester (3 weeks, I think) I will have 100+ pages.
Words came slow tonight, as I'm not completely sure where I'm going, and I'm tired and dirty and distracted. Piss.
Hopefully tomorrow will loosen up a bit and I'll be able to get a bit more done. Tonight was discouraging overall, but there is still light ahead, so I will keep moving in its direction. (Hope it's not an anglerfish.)
Well, not out of nothing, out of 65 pages in Times New Roman size 11 font.
Oops.
So I'm on page 71 now, which gives me a lot more confidence that if I finish Book I by the end of the semester (3 weeks, I think) I will have 100+ pages.
Words came slow tonight, as I'm not completely sure where I'm going, and I'm tired and dirty and distracted. Piss.
Hopefully tomorrow will loosen up a bit and I'll be able to get a bit more done. Tonight was discouraging overall, but there is still light ahead, so I will keep moving in its direction. (Hope it's not an anglerfish.)
On Writing a Novel, Entry #12
Well, three weeks of laziness and one week of vacation later, I have fifteen pages written, zero blog entries, and a somewhat shaky view of where I'm going.
As far as positives go, I know I can get to 100 pages of writing by semester end, which, for the temporal requirements of class, is enough. A more negative note is that I am not sure Book I of the novel will make it to 100 pages, meaning I will start on book two, while my heart is in perfecting Book I. Still, perhaps I need to write it in its entirety before I can really know what perfection (or at least its best pursuit) will be for the story.
I think I need to finish Book I before I will really understand where Book II will take Sammy. I am sort of scared of becoming a Rabbit, Run clone--essentially, what I know is that Sammy will run. Still, I do not have either the style or perhaps ability of Updike, and no matter what Sammy will not be Rabbit. But the similarities are unavoidable--former athlete who, rather than deal with the pressures of a disappointing/disillusioning life, flees. I did not mean to do this, and yes there are blatant differences, but...to steal some more, so it goes. (Thanks Kurt.)
Essentially what has happened since I last blogged is an unlocking of Sammy, to an extent. I do think that for it to work, I need to go back and lock him up a bit more. He goes two ways in a lot of places--closed off, but still likable, still socially comfortable. I think perhaps I want him to be likable, to be charismatic and appealing, but that isn't him, can't be him, because his life is shut off. Still, that is a proofing issue and not for immediate concern, I suppose.
Tonight (and I start so late, and waste so much time...) I have to figure out how Sammy and Lydia react after their first real emotionally intimate moment. I have to figure out a way to make an unbelievable act not only believable, but to flow within the current of the story. I think it is doable; or, I know it is doable, but whether or not it is best will be seen. Perhaps more subtlety makes sense, but I like the idea of Mr. Vonachen being a liberating force for Sammy, an enabler, a strengthener. A fairy godmother, to pull on the old archetype, in some ways.
Anyway. Off to write. Hopefully about 1500-2000 words later I will be in bed content with my work.
As far as positives go, I know I can get to 100 pages of writing by semester end, which, for the temporal requirements of class, is enough. A more negative note is that I am not sure Book I of the novel will make it to 100 pages, meaning I will start on book two, while my heart is in perfecting Book I. Still, perhaps I need to write it in its entirety before I can really know what perfection (or at least its best pursuit) will be for the story.
I think I need to finish Book I before I will really understand where Book II will take Sammy. I am sort of scared of becoming a Rabbit, Run clone--essentially, what I know is that Sammy will run. Still, I do not have either the style or perhaps ability of Updike, and no matter what Sammy will not be Rabbit. But the similarities are unavoidable--former athlete who, rather than deal with the pressures of a disappointing/disillusioning life, flees. I did not mean to do this, and yes there are blatant differences, but...to steal some more, so it goes. (Thanks Kurt.)
Essentially what has happened since I last blogged is an unlocking of Sammy, to an extent. I do think that for it to work, I need to go back and lock him up a bit more. He goes two ways in a lot of places--closed off, but still likable, still socially comfortable. I think perhaps I want him to be likable, to be charismatic and appealing, but that isn't him, can't be him, because his life is shut off. Still, that is a proofing issue and not for immediate concern, I suppose.
Tonight (and I start so late, and waste so much time...) I have to figure out how Sammy and Lydia react after their first real emotionally intimate moment. I have to figure out a way to make an unbelievable act not only believable, but to flow within the current of the story. I think it is doable; or, I know it is doable, but whether or not it is best will be seen. Perhaps more subtlety makes sense, but I like the idea of Mr. Vonachen being a liberating force for Sammy, an enabler, a strengthener. A fairy godmother, to pull on the old archetype, in some ways.
Anyway. Off to write. Hopefully about 1500-2000 words later I will be in bed content with my work.
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